News from the woods
View From the Woods
By the Big Hairy Dude

Time News Feed

by BHD on 01/25/12

I just read a very interesting article HERE.

The little hairless people are discussing whether or not it is ethical to shoot me to prove I exist. 

And that's just the beginning of the ridiculous things in this story.  Read this, along with my comments:

Should We Declare Open Season on Bigfoot?
Proving Bigfoot exists will take a lot more than low-quality video. But is it ethical to shoot and kill the creature?
By Lauren Daniels

Every year, believers and enthusiasts provide heaps of secondary proof that Bigfoot exists: low-quality video, out-of-focus snapshots and the occasional fossilized “footprint.” But it’s not the quantity but the quality of proof that’s lacking, MSNBC reports. These days the public will accept nothing less than concrete physical proof.

The little hairless people make plaster casts of my footprints; they are not "fossolized" except to a completely incompetent boob.

Animal Planet’s show, Finding Bigfoot, does its part to increase the amount of evidence that the “creature” really does roam the wild. Now in its second season, each week the show features a team of four explorers traveling the globe and adding more shaky hand-cam fuel to the fire.

Gonzo Bigfoot hunters aren’t the only people trying to move the creature from myth to reality. Last October, more than a dozen “experts” traveled 2,000 miles east of Moscow to the Kemerovo region of Russia for a daylong conference. There, the existence of Yeti (Bigfoot’s Russian cousin) was confirmed with 95% certainty.

The Russians call us "Almasty", not Yeti.  That is the name the Himilayans give us.

But that rate is just not good enough. The other 5%  must be proven in blood, or at least a high-resolution, tranquilizer-dart-induced photo. This has stirred a debate among the Bigfoot community as to whether it’s ethical to shoot and kill the creature.

The real question NewsFeed is pondering: does anyone really want to find Bigfoot? Proving Bigfoot’s existence puts an end to all of the fun, and in the case of Animal Planet, some serious ratings. The season-two premiere of Finding Bigfoot had 1.6 million viewers, making it the most watched episode of the program and the second-best season debut of any show on the network.

Four episodes into season two, Finding Bigfoot is still going strong. The show averages more than 1.4 million viewers a week, beating out other reality-TV favorites like TLC’s Hoarding: Buried Alive and HGTV’s “Holmes Inspection.” Not Kardashian numbers, but pretty respectable for basic cable.

Hunting Bigfoot poses potential ethical, legal and permitting issues, not to mention putting an end to profitable TV franchises. “Finding Bigfoot” has six more episodes before it’s season finale.

It's demise cannot be soon enough for me.

 

 

 

 

 

January 25, 2012

Interesting find -

by BHD on 12/20/11

The little hairless people that live near me are having problems with mice building nests in their vehicles.  They have put out little white stinking things they call "moth balls" to keep them away.  They also put out little pellets with poison in them, and several different kinds of devices to catch them.  And they have done something to make their vehicle smell like Peppermint. 

Last night, I went through where they park their vehicle and found something new.  It is round, black, and has one hole in the side.  And it smells like peanut butter. 

I brought it home to examine, and now they are looking all around the area for it. 

Surely they don't think a mouse could pick this up and carry it off?

These creatures are kind of sweet, but they are SO stupid!

Finding Bigfoot

by BHD on 12/11/11

I sat outside one of the LHP houses the other night and caught this show.  It is a group of people who run around the woods making all kinds of racket, seeing who can scare the others the most, and taking thermal images of each other in the dark, acting like this is something important.

HEY GUYS!!

I AM RIGHT HERE!!!

This bunch couldn't find their posterior apendage while utilizing both forelimbs.

MORE communication problems

by BHD on 12/10/11

Now, the LNB failed, making communication impossible. 

Life was SOO much simpler when I just whacked on a tree - -

Communication problems -

by BHD on 12/03/11

The only way I can post on this BLOG is to go through a LHP (Little Hairless People) ISP (Internet Service Provider) which uses their LL (Land Line) telephone system which operates through EMF (Electro Motive Force) portion of the EM (Electro Magnetic) spectrum. 

I prefer ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) which is normal for my kind, and never gets SNAFU (Situation Normal, All Fouled Up) that the LHP have to constantly deal with.

And ESP does not require everything to be shortened into cryptic initials, either!

 

Anticipating Christmas

by BHD on 11/30/11

The little hairless people tend to think of themselves as the only ones that anticipate Christmas.  Not so! 

Christ was born of a little hairless mother, so the little hairless people anticipate the remembrance of His birth. 

He was born in a stable - a place for animals - so the animals anticipate his coming.

But my anticipation is greater still!!

One line of my ancestors is related to His mother.

The other line is related to the ones who announced His coming to the shepherds who were watching their flocks on the night of His birth!

No winter storm -

by BHD on 11/29/11

The little hairless people were predicting a winter storm here with 5 inches of snow.  I hate those, because we have to be SO careful not to leave tracks for them to follow -

But here it is after noon, and not  a single flake yet.

It seems the little hairless people are no better at predicting the weather than they are at finding us in the woods -

What a start to a new work week!

by BHD on 11/28/11

I spent the night hunting, and got some veneson for the family.  Really tired, I walked into our shelter this morning, ready for a nice nap.

I was in shock when I found, right there in our home, a very young little hairless person! 

What the HEY??

Then my son, with his best wheedling voice, said:

"Dad, it followed me home!  Can we keep him?"

This is going to get complicated - -

Sunday morning -

by BHD on 11/27/11

It is Sunday morning, warm in the woods, and a gentle rain is falling.  There is no fire danger this season, and the fall has been beautiful.  We thank the Creator for this!

The little hairless people have a group of thinkers who work very hard to convince the rest of them that the Creator - IF he exists - does not and never has created anything. 

If you want to know how a a Creator can be a Creator and never Create anything, you will have to ask one of these thinkers, because I cannot fathom their reasoning.

They believe rocks eroded into dirt, and dirt combined with water and lightning to form life.  This life then evolved over billions of seasons into all living things on this planet, including the little hairless people.  They would believe that we evolved too, but for the most part they do not believe we exist.

So they believe we all came from rocks.

Like I said, you will have to ask one of them to explain it  - -

Our greatest philosopher

by BHD on 11/26/11

One of the things which has plagued our philosophers for many generations is the question of our own identity.  Since we are only partly physical beings and the rest spiritual beings, it is an easy matter to cause our physical form to become invisible to the eye, and our footfalls unheard by the ear. 

If no one can see me, and no one can hear me, do I still exist - or have I temporarily blinked out of existence?

This controversy continued until our greatest philosopher discovered a way to answer it in a positive manner.  Through much research, he established that even spiritual beings capable of fooling the eye and the ear could not fool the olfactory senses.  It was then, in his great work Talk About How, that Ronny Discard coined the phrase:

"I Stink, therefore I am!"

How intelligent are they?

by BHD on 11/25/11

It is a constant source of controversy; Just exactly how intelligent are the little hairless people?

They build dams out into the ocean, pump the water out from behind them, and then build a city in this area that is below sea level.  When storms roll in, the dam breaks and the city is destroyed.  When the storms are over, they rebuild the dams and rebuild the city in the same location again.

It is obvious from this and similar actions that these little hairless people do not possess intellect as we define it, but their actions are controlled by genetic instinct rather than reason.

The only bad part of Thanksgiving -

by BHD on 11/24/11

Is the in-laws.

How an ugly, overbearing,  harpy-like shrew with the voice of a crow and the temperement of a wolverine ever produced as wonderful a creature as my wife is simply beyond my comprehension.

I would tell a Mother-In-Law joke here -

But there is nothing humorous about this at all.

 

Whack Whack - Whack - Whack Whack Whack -

OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!)

Thanksgiving

by BHD on 11/24/11

We in the woods have much to be thankful for today.

Thank you, God, for abundant game.

Thank you, God, for our families and friends.

But most of all, God, thank you that most of the little hairless people do not believe we exist.

 

Amen -

I had a WONDERFUL, albeit strange, weekend.

by BHD on 10/26/11

A group of the little hairless people came out into the woods in East TN on Friday and Saturday nights and communicated with several of my friends there.  They spoke Spanish, English, Hebrew, and one or two languages they could not identify, but since we can see their thoughts, we knew their intent was friendly toward us.

Then they sang some gospel songs, which my friends enjoyed very much. 

They also came out in the daytime and left bananas and other goodies for my friends, which they also appreciated.

There was a rowdy bunch of them on Saturday afternoon that came out and built a large bonfire and made a LOT of noise in my friends woods.  One of them said they were very tempted to just step out right into the middle of the party and see how fast they could all dive into their cars and scat out of there, but they decided not to scare them because they are such delicate creatures.

I learned to use the phone -

by BHD on 08/22/11

Last week, I figured out how to tap into a telephone line and place a call to anyone I wanted to.

So I did that, the phone rang, they answered.

Then I realized I really didn't have anything to say, so I just mumbled a bit and hung up.

Wait until the folks whose line I tapped into get their bill!!!

Next, I am going to figure out Facebook - -

Hot and peaceful -

by BHD on 07/04/11

Nothing is in season now, so the little hairless people are staying out of the woods for the most part.  They are also very worried about ticks and chiggers.  But I still see them near their houses, and they wear less and less clothing as the weather gets hotter.  Very odd; don't they realize that a covering on their skin, like hair or clothing, can keep heat OUT?

And besides that - they are ugly enough when they are DRESSED, they are almost unbearable to look at when semi-nude!

Did you hear the one about the traveling Bigfoot and the farmers daughter?

by BHD on 06/18/11

It seems there was this bigfoot traveling cross-country who passed a farmhouse.  There on the window shade he saw the silhouette of a shapely young - -

Oh, wait - -

This is a FAMILY forum - -

Never mind.

I am a superior being

by BHD on 06/18/11

I can hide in plain site such that the little hairless people can not find me.
I can produce terror in them such that they flee from my presence.
I can put my thoughts into their minds.
I can travel over mud and snow without leaving footprints.
With all of these abilities, why the HECK can't I keep the ticks from biting me????

What's with the rabbit?

by BHD on 04/23/11

The little hairless people are getting ready to hide eggs all over the place, and the littler hairless people then try to find them.  They don't look much like eggs, though - they are all wrong colors.  And they are claimed to be left by a rabbit.

I can't figure this activity out, because we know Easter is the day Christ rose from the dead, conquering sin and death for all people - even the little hairless ones.

Why did the #4

by BHD on 04/04/11

Why did the big hairy person cross the road?

So he could read about it on the BFRO website